hiatus

and just like that, October has crept up on me. Quick little catch up on what I have been up to. I am back home now. I got a job at the gym I work out at (how perfect). I am back in school (online classes of course) and I am still in a rut. I havent been on the scale in a few weeks. Restricting and binging and exercising till I nearly die is an everyday thing. Well, the binging is mostly a saturday kind of thing. I almost passed out at the gym on Friday. Thank god I didn't. Since I know everyone that works there it would have even been more mortifying. Getting out of bed in the morning is becoming a struggle. I was doing pretty good for awhile when I first returned. I thought I was bad then- I hadnt seen anything yet. I have these moments where everything is fine and dandy. and then next thing I know- I'm ready to rip everyones head off and shoot myself. I am an emotional roller coaster. An emotional mess.