sunday

i woke up this morning annoyed. with family, with my reflection, with my life. I'm having coffee for breakfast and plan on staying in my room for a majority of the day. i dont really want to interact with anyone today. i dont want to end up being a bitch like i usually am. i hate that my mood is so up and down. everyday its something different. something that either sets me off or send me into a pile a of tears. i feel as if i ramble about this everyday. on another note i want to lose 3.5lbs this week. i want to hit my first october goal. i'm going to the grocery at some point this week. ill post my list once i finish making it. i always have this love/hate relationship with the grocery store. i have talked about this numerous times on here but im going to reiterate. i love looking at all the different foods, smelling all the different smells, and seeing what other people buy. but at the same time i hate it because going there gives me such anxiety. its like sensory overload and i try to get fear foods and expand my food repertoire.. then i just end up putting it all back and sticking to my safe foods. its hard. i remember when eggs used to be a fear for me. i would not touch them. and i hated how they smelled. it took me a good year to finally be able to eat eggs. well, egg whites. i still cant eat the yolk. but i believe that every step is progress. well- until later

xx