failures.

all day i have been obsessing about how much I've eaten. I spent a majority of the day in the company of people. people who push plates of food at me. I didn't eat till I got home at noon (I left my house at 4:15am) killed myself at the gym after I got off work. ran for an hour and a half lifted, worked core, legs, and more cardio. my post workout meal included a bowl of oatmeal with 1 tb pb, cinnamon, and a cut up apple then one egg sunny side up, an additional egg white and a piece of toast. my father forced me to eat every bite. I fought back tears because I don't eat bread and I don't eat egg yolks. I used to love sunny side up eggs (pre ed) and now they make me sick. so after my traumatizing morning I retreated into my bedroom and did an insanity video. Later that afternoon I went to see a friend and she insisted we go to dinner. so we went to her favorite Peruvian resturant where I had grilled chicken with green beans and carrots with corn on the side. I also had a small side salad as a starter. I didn't eat all of it but I ate a good portion. this is the same friend whos version of 'confronting' me about my 'issues' was telling me that I looked sick but if I wanted to talk she'd listen. ha ha god. then to make it worse she insisted on taking me to Starbucks (& ordering for me) a drink with AT LEAST 500c. so the whole way home I was calculating how much I would have to run to burn off today's failures. lets just say I'm going to be running for awhile.