being told I look tired has to be one of the worst statements ever. aside from being called fat. my life is in the shitter. I am in the midst of an emotional tornado. too many emotions. too much to say.  no one to say it too. my best friend tried to kill herself Saturday. and man that has really been fucking with me. the guilt and anger are slowly eating me alive. aside from that there has been my usual emotional turmoil. I met a boy. we went on our second date yesterday. he's sweet. kind of an asshole but sweet. he asked me why I don't eat. got. what a great second date topic. I just brushed it off. like always. while we're on the topic of food- let's talk about how a guy I work with called me "meaty". what does that even mean.. well it meant that I had to take a 10 min break to bawl my eyes out in my car. as if I don't feel shitty enough about my body lets add comments from the opposite sex. man. fuck. I don't know.  I'm a mess. a complete fucking disaster. but I play it off so well. I'm so good I almost scare myself.