temporary lapse of judgement

last night i had a temporary lapse of judgement and i told one of my guy friends about my issues with food. the funny thing is.. he didn't really care. he was more concerned with my not cutting myself than anything else. probably because I'm too fat to even look like i have a problem. I was slightly upset because i almost thought he was going to be the one to shake my by my shoulders and tell me that I'm worth it and i don't have to starve myself to see that. but no, so here i am. still waiting for the day someone will actually care about me. i hate this. i really do. not eating today, i can't go into the kitchen without being disgusted by all the food we have. today is definitely a coffee kind of day. regardless, my stomach is starting to thin out again. i can see my ribs when i lift my shirt up. hip bones when i pull my pants down. bones are a marker that you're beginning to win the race, but I've only begun.