one of my friends came over yesterday after i got out of class with pizza and candy and movies so we watched.. i ate a piece of pizza to avoid any real questioning. but i felt so bad after that i had to purge. for the first time in months... i hated it, but i felt 100 times better after just knowing that i didn't have that greasy food inside of me. still feeling bad this morning i did two insanity videos and went for a run. i have to work today which is good. i haven't eaten yet, but i already now what I'm going to have. 1/2 of a banana with peanut butter. and I'm going to eat the other half once i get home from work if I'm hungry. i have been so stressed out recently i almost can't stand it. stressed.. depressed. i don't know you. i slept for almost 12 hours last night and didn't go to my class this morning. and the crazy thing is.. I'm still tired. thats what my life has become. don't eat.. work out till you throw up or pass out.. get used to being tired. always fucking tired. i don't know. i just wish i wasn't fat. i wish that i wasn't such a fuck up. i just want to be good enough for once in my life.
and now switching topics completely because i don't want to bore everyone with my sob stories.. again. that boy i posted about earlier came to my house last night, just to hang out. he is very similar to me its kind of crazy. he is kind of crazy. but i like that. and i like him. not like that, just as a new friend. a new friend that i kiss. haha oh well, it happens. i need to shower and start my day, so until then
xx
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