wednesday

today was good, until i binged on pizza (one of my weaknesses) ugh I'm so stupid. but this morning i got up early and went to the gym and burnt 250c i had an apple and saltines for breakfast (110c) i have no clue how many calories the pizza i ate was, so when it got dark, i went to the 4th floor of the parking garage (its empty up there) and ran till i was ready to pass out. i was really productive today though. so go me. i work tomorrow and i really don't want to, but i need the money. today when i was working out with my friend early, she kept asking me why i didn't want to run uphill with her. i tried explaining that i didn't want to gain anymore muscle, but actually slim down. (i have a lot of muscle) and she just looked at me like i was crazy. and a few days before that my other friend was asking me what my goal weight was. i just said i didn't have one. oh well, i don't get why they even care. its my body. my life. my rules. anyway, its 2am and i want to get up at 9 and go to the gym. then go to class, come home and start my homework, go to work, come home. my life is so boring during the week. sigh. i don't know. there is so much going on inside my head and on the outside, nothing. I'm quiet, happy, content. if someone opened up my brain, they would never look at me the same. my head is filled with monsters. monsters that I'm not ready to face. not yet.