fuck fuck fuck

i don't think my mother understands how much i do not want to come home, even if it is just for a weekend. fuck all of that. that place is nothing, nothing but a sickness. I'm going to do nothing but want to cry and kill myself. fuck that place. sometimes, i i really do scare myself. i was on the verge of a panic attack in the middle of class! because my mother was harassing me about coming back. she is so manipulative. she's got my aunt in it too. whatever. all of them can just keep the fuck away from me. i honestly cannot wait for the day i can close them all out of my life and finally be happy. maybe. well, thats what I'm hoping for. anyway, haven't had anything to eat yet. I've just been drinking water and walking everywhere. working out later tonight. I'm actually in the mood for my vegetable diet. probably going to just have some corn and then walk to school for my next class. i have to go to the bank and a few other places. and its beautiful outside. the sun is out and its in the 80s. i couldn't sit in class (math especially) and think about how much i really really really do not want to fucking go back home. i don't get why no one understands. I'm over talking about that for now. my dads wedding is going to be hard enough. if I'm going home in a few weeks I'm going to need some serious drugs. or a lot of pot. hahahaha

staystrongxx