hmph.

today was odd. I've felt really off all day. i think it was because i took that adderall and didn't eat before. and then i didn't eat until 5pm. i had a piece of bread with ham. then i made dinner for my friends. wheat pasta and shrimp with oil not butter. i ate a little of that, just so i didn't look weird not eating any... OHH then i had a moment of weakness. so, like i was saying I've been feeling off. so i felt like i was going to black out earlier.. so i ate two oreos. i know i should have only eaten one, but i ate two (i suck) I'm so annoyed at my lack of self control...hmph. anyway, walked 8 miles today with my friend. so, i mean i guess thats alright. i also did cardio ab insanity. (killler) insanity is amazing. but i also ate some chips when i was high. damn. i did really bad today.. I'm so annoyed. I'm waking up at 9 tomorrow to work out. i don't have class but i still have some things to do.

i feel like i have this hole inside me where my ex best friend used to be. i don't even want to begin to get into that but i need like a close friend that is a girl that i can talk to. i feel like ALL my friends are guys. and gay ones at that. i don't know i just feel like I'm missing something. hmph.