i didn't even realized that 5 days have passed since i last wrote. goodness, this past weekend was shit. i ate everything. well, friday i only ate rice. saturday i went to a wedding and completely lost all self control... well, what little self control i did have. sunday i went to dinner with my friends. we went to a mexican restaurant and i ate 1/4 of my chicken enchilada before claiming to be 'beyond full' but that night we went out, and got drunk (of course) and i accidentally told my friend about my lack of eating. well not accidentally, it just came out. haha word vomit. but she lives back home. and she is coming down this weekend to visit. and now i know she is going to be on my back to eat this whole weekend. gross. today I've had a luna bar and some soup. I'm going to the gym after i finish this post. i have been so depressed all day. i just feel like such a failure. not just about food, i feel like I'm failing at my life. i am just so unhappy with myself i can hardly stand it.