i made cookies with my roommate and ate about 5 of them. i feel terrible. absolutely awful. I'm not eating at all tomorrow for being a fat pig. i hate when i fuck up. its so frustrating. i hate myself. i hate myself. i hate myself. i need to go to the gym asap. i have an exam tomorrow morning- fuck. and i have work tomorrow night, so that is always a plus. i wish i had self control. i used to. i really did. i don't know what happened to me. i don't want to bore everyone with my sob storers so..
i said i would post my grocery list so here she is
coffee
turkey
chicken
tomatoes
apples
bananas
grapes
lettuce heads
corn
broccoli
peanut butter
mushrooms
cauliflower
honey
mozzarella
garlic
eggplant
pears
pineapple
i don't know. is this what you guys buy? what do 'normal' people buy at the grocery. how do normal people feel at the grocery is a question i want to know the answer to. because i know how i feel when i go grocery shopping, and it cannot be normal.
I get like a mix between delight and disgust. I see all that food and the great smells of fresh food and immediately I want to eat. I purposely avoid walking near the "Taster" counters. Then I see what other people are buying - crisps, processed foods, full fat coke etc and feel disgusted. I feel disgusted that I have such little control. Food is like an enemy, I love to look but that's as far as it can go.
ReplyDeleteim glad there is someone who gets what I'm feeling. Its like i want look at it and smell it but as soon as i realize how fat is it going to make me and I'm disgusted that i even picked it up. i hate that.
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