uhidpfg

my last day of school is today. at 1130am. I. can't. wait. i feel so fat. i haven't been on my scale in 9 days. i feel huge. absolutely huge. wait, 9 days is a long time, for me. i can't decide if i should celebrate or cry. funny how that works. you think, small steps to getting better. but getting better doesn't always feel, better. I've been on this healthy diet thing blah blah blah. I'm always on some kind of fucking diet. i mean, i definitely feel stronger. thinner- not so much. i can't wait to start this diet with my roommate. hurry up may! but in the meantime, im going on an adderall diet. adderall and water.. hahaha kidding. but kind of not. now that school is out, i have more time to think about more important things. except I'm taking a summer class -___- oh well, my summer is going to include: gym, school, work, gym,get fucked up. *repeat* and I'm not mad about it. well until july (fuck that shit) whatever i don't want to talk about it. on a new topic, in may I'm going to really step it up, with weight loss i mean. ugh. fuck being fat. fuck. it. I've been thinking about getting about some kind of dietary supplement. i went to the vitamin store the other day and they have so many choices for weight loss aide. like jesus i need to get some. also, I'm quitting smoking weed starting may 1st (i don't smoke cigarettes if anyone way wondering) when i don't smoke i lose weight so much better (fuck the munchies) and even though i love smoking weed, i have to do it. i have to get serious. i also want to get a second job. just so i can't make more money. 5 years. 5 years, and I'm moving to california. i just need to save up. i feel like i am so scatterbrained when i post. i don't know, i just write as I'm thinking. but I'm pretty much ready to go to sleep, after i do my ab workout. until tomorrow think thin xx