mondays are fun

skipped class today.i just couldn't. i slept till 12 (i still don't feel too great) and then went to the gym. and then after that my friends and i went out to lunch i had baked chicken and salad (wooohoo) after we go back my other friend and i ran errands and went grocery shopping. i got apples, dried fruit, chicken, natural apple sauce, saltines, salad, corn, broccoli, rice and V8 juice. not the tomato, the fruit kind. I'm obsessed and it has a lot of vitamins. thats what I'm living off of until i move into my new apartment. I'm so excited. but tomorrow is the start of me focusing on school these last two weeks. I'm going to get my shit together so i don't fail my finals. even though I'm pretty sure i failed math this semester. i need to step up my weight lose. i avoided the scale again today. I'm scared. i feel so fat. i know once i get on there and see those numbers I'm going to lose it, again. i don't know. its like i go through these stages. everyday my thoughts are controlled by food. but the days i get on the scale are always worse than the days i don't. always. its like either bad or worse.. where are my good days? i don't know. but I'm going to do some ab workouts before i go to sleep. i have a strict diet that I'm on for the next two weeks. after i weigh myself tomorrow ill be able to tell you more about it. anyway, good night xx stay strong