meow

monday, the start of a new week. I've been doing pretty well even though i hadn't written in forever. except the fact that I'm beyond miserable out here. i haven't been this depressed in a really long time its almost scary. i think the fact that I'm always either a. sad b.stressed or c.both is helping me lose weight. not to mention my list of safe foods has gotten so small the past two months. my step mother doesn't seem to care though, she is always on some new fucking diet. she told me i had body dysmorphia the other day... like i didn't already know that. my mother and father do seem worried though. they probably want to send me back to ip. but we all know that won't fucking happen. i measured myself on friday and in past two months I've lost 1.5 inches from my hips. 2.5 inches from my waist. 3 inches from my bust. and 3 inches from my thighs. not good enough. definitely not good enough. one good thing i can think of thats come from this is I've been drawing more. its strange how that works. suffering and creativity go hand in hand. hm.