006

I hate food. absolutely hate it.

005

well friends, as you can see i survived thanksgiving. its already december. where did the time go? The rest of this year is flying past me, while i just stand here. waiting. the past two weeks i have been on the fruit and vegetable diet with ONE unhealthy snack a week (just for fun) its been working quite well actually. i usually eat a fruit with pb for breakfast, cold vegetables or fruit for lunch and a salad with whatever I'm feeling that day on top. I have been pretty down lately. I am moving back to my hometown after this semester is over and I just know its not going to end well, for me. I couldn't even keep it together for the 5 days that I was there over thanksgiving break. speaking of break, it was horrid, but i survived. I kept track of how many times I cried over those 4 days... FOURTEEN TIMES. how is that even possible. the girl that doesn't cry did enough crying in 5 days to last her at least 10 more years. ha.. thats pathetic. i am pathetic. I am supposed to be packing my apartment up over the next few weeks, but i just can't bring myself to do it. i can't imagine myself back home. i know i have to go but i just know that its going to end very, very badly. my father is psychotic and he wants me to be unhappy.. actually, he just wants to control my life. yes, i know i sound like a typical girl with "daddy" issues. but its honestly so much more than that. i know i pretty much ranted this entire post about absolutely nothing worth reading. its weird, you know. i do a better job at somewhat explaining my thoughts to people i have never and probably will never meet, but when it comes to people that actually know me, i can't do it. or when it comes to my parents, i can do nothing except cry..